Monday, March 30, 2015

Frustrating Implements and a Sheep Penis Operation





Man what a frustrating day. I have a true love/hate relationship with hardware stores and farm supply stores. Trying to find the exact thing, whatever that thing is specifically is not important, trying to find it is sometimes impossible. It doesn't help that the people they hire have no clue what-so-ever usually either. I don't blame the poor sales clerks. They can't say I don't know without getting in trouble and they don't pay em enough to live, eat and breath hardware.

Seems the hardware or farm supply stores are always out of what I need or the choices once I get there are so overwhelming I am afraid to pick one because sure as a Femocrat is going to try and ban my guns, it will be the wrong choice.

Take the tiller for instance. I am sure the PTO drive shaft for that thing is a 1" square inside diameter shaft. Finding one seems impossible anywhere. They have the rectangle ones, the slightly larger ones, and one that may fit but I am just not 100% sure. The simple thing to do would be to take the half shaft I have with me. Ya simple until after I fought with the shear pin for two hours and used about a gallon of penetrating oil it finally came out. Then it had a fitting key in it I had to take the holding nut off of so that was another 30 minutes and a quart of penetrating oil. Once I removed those things I figured out the universal joint has somehow become melded as one to the drive shaft on the tiller. Wouldn't budge even a millimeter and no matter what I did I couldn't get anything in there to get any leverage to get it unstuck.

Not sure what I am going to do now. So that project is stuck until I can figure something out. Or maybe just load up the entire tiller and take it to the parking lot of tractor supply and ask if a clerk can come outside with the drive shafts....hmmm....

So I turned my attention to the plow. I been trying to cut the extra long front off this plow to rig it up as a three point and it has been eating through sawzall blades like they were made from pop rocks. This old plow was made back when they smelted good steel. Finally I decided to try a cutting wheel on a hand grinder. I took the tractor with the boom on it and drug the thing out away from the barn as I didn't want any sparks burning the place down. Then went to buy some cutting wheels for my grinder.

I got halfway into town and figured out I had left my grinder at home in the shop. Damn. So I get to the hardware store and of course there are like more different sizes of metal cutting wheels than there is the national debt. So I say screw it and just buy a new grinder and ask the clerk which cutting wheels fit it. He gives me a pack of five and says they will fit fine.

I should have known better.  This may sound racist and ya know what I don't care. Never take hardware store advice from the Black clerks. I have yet to meet one that actually knew anything about the tools they are selling. Sorry but there it is. 99% of these clerks are just there for a job but at least with the White guys there is a chance they may have some experience with the tool you are buying.

So I get home and start getting the grinder ready to use. Put the cutting wheel on and sure as the DNC hates me because of my Blue eyes the damned grinder won't tighten all the way down on the thinner cutting disk. So I start making cardboard spacers for it and finally get the thing working. I am cutting away on this old plow tang and damn if I am not finally making some progress. I get about 3/4's of the way through this 4 inch by 2 inch chunk of steel harder than my head when I was 19 and the %$$#*& grinder just stops working. I mean just stops. Dead.

About this time I am so frustrated and thinking about selling the entire farm when I walk over to the ram pen and notice his grain has not been touched.

Now that is like a sign of impending doom something akin to I don't know, a meteor the size of the moon blocking out the sun all of a sudden and heading our way or a sudden fireball and mushroom cloud on the horizon. Real biblical stuff let me tell you. I mean this ram is like 300 pounds and not but a week ago was more interested in his grain than his harem getting away.

That is saying something when you're more interested in food than seven ladies. May I never get to that point.

Then I notice he is laying down inside his stall groaning and by this time my mother is frantic thinking the poor guy is dying. I watch him a bit and make him get up and he poops but I soon determine he is straining to pee. That isn't good. So it's emergency Vet call on a Sunday evening.

Can we all say CHA.......CHING!!!! $$$$$$$

OH trust me here my lovely readers it gets even better. Stay with me.

So the Vet shows up and him and I are in the stall with this Ram, who luckily is actually taking this whole affair better than I expected but we have to wrestle him to the ground and then hold him. He made a little charge at me but I got his head and then swept his front legs putting him on his side while the Vet pulled his back legs and we trapped him between the wall and slowly worked his way down onto his back and rolled him over.

This is where my super shearing training came in handy as I got him into position with his legs in there air and my foot under his shoulder blade and held his head so the poor guy was trapped. Had I known what was in store for him I might have started feeling bad about this time but as it was I had a front row, up close seat to this horror show. I tell ya I think getting amputated during the civil war period might have been more pleasant than what this ram was in for.

The Vet determined he had crystals built up that were blocking his urine and it can kill a poor sheep in less than a day. So as this 300+ pound ram is on his back with me holding him the Vet starts pushing the ram's penis up into the sheath from the back so he can grab the end with a pair of hemostats and pull it out.

My junk still hurts from watching this as it took like I don't know a week to get his poor penis out. I was so horrified and felt so bad for the ram who had his eye balls rolling back into his head like he was dying and looking at me with this expression somewhere between kill me now and I am going to mess your entire life up when I get out of this. I can't say I blame him one bit for either actually.

It didn't help that the pregnant ewes were looking into the stall and screaming "Cut that thing off he did this to us, castrate the Bastard" in a loud kinda bleating way.

So once the vet has Lamar's (the rams name) stuff out he then proceeds to cut it open and sheep pee literally goes everywhere. Well everywhere except on me. This was the entire and only bright spot from my whole day right here that I managed to dodge the massive spray of sheep pee. The poor vet was not so lucky.

Now I am awake because the gestation period for the ewes hit today so they are on round the clock check up. The ram needs to be checked on periodically and the dog came home from the hospital where she had two doggy transfusions (know what those cost btw?) and also has to be walked every hour or two.

Oh and the cat just came inside limping.

I swear I am getting out of animals all together and just raising tomatoes for now on.

Keep Prepping Everyone!!!!


55 comments:

  1. Wow. I won't pretend to give you 'feel good' comments and such. That just sucks. Totally sucks. But hoping that things get better. I mean, how much worse can it get after watching a penis get sliced?

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    1. Carolyn - Well it got worse. The ram didn't recover and we had to put him down this afternoon. Poor Guy.

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  2. Too bad you aren't closer to where I live as we have tractor places that actually work on equipment and would be able to fix the tiller. There is also a place that could make a new part out of steel as they make all kinds of large equipment parts including drive shafts.
    It is a shame that they weren't filming a TV commercial in the hardware store as that is where all the genius African Americans show up to help stupid white boys, you would have had your part and the guy would have installed it for you while making you look stupid to America.
    I have cut way back on what animals that we have, they can drain you and your pocket. Looks like there would have been a less dramatic fix for the ram, I don't want to think about it.

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    1. Sf - We have a couple of laces that could do that and do work exclusively on tractors but they are so busy especially right now they would laugh at my puny little problem and tell me to come back in July.

      Apparently the urine crystals is pretty much just fatal if the little snip operation doesn't work. We had to put him down this afternoon.

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  3. Preppy I feel for you, it was a busy day to say the lest. Clerks these days don't have a clue. My wife was trying to get help at Walmart last month, after a while I told her give it up. The other employee that was called to help us was on lunch, but no one told us for over 45 min....IDIOTS.

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    1. Rob - Oh the old "at break" thing. That always pisses me off especially in the paint department. There is another example though I always prefer the Female paint department employees they tend to know how to match the colors up and which paint to use better.

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  4. Sorry to hear about the woe, though your bit about the sheep pee reminded me of the staking scene in "Dracula Dead and Loving It." Where Mel Brooks was saying, "I've been to meny, meny stakings. You jus havta know where to stand."

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    1. Ody - No doubt. I figured I would be hit though because I had no idea it was gonna come out like that. I figured the vet had done it a time or two.

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  5. OMG! You may want to stay away from any news sources as well, they won't make you feel any better...

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    1. Izzy - They never do these days but I figure the worse the news the faster we will get this over with.

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  6. Replies
    1. LW - Ya it gets even more owwww today :(

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  7. bahahahahah! could you have had a worse day buddy? i don't think so! i feel for that poor ram! i am sure that every time i talk about getting some cute little pygmy goats, jam will make me re-read this post. raising and caring for animals is very time consuming - it's like having kids for pete's sake. and can be very expensive. yuhikes!

    your friend,
    kymber

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    1. Kymber - I tell ya it is hard work. It's even harder if you try and show a profit too. The vet actually asked me if I wanted to runt he ram up to the sale barn instead of putting him down today. I was insulted like I would do that to the poor animal or cheat someone like that.

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  8. Did the vet say anything to you about feeding him less grain? Grain causes crystals in male goats, I bet it does in Sheep too.

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    1. Spinnersaw - Ya and I think he might have been right and it was the grain we feed. I remember checking the label before we started feeding that brand and it was listed as safe for small ruminants but today it has a warning in small print on the bag. I called the feed store and the owner was shocked by the warning he never saw before too.

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  9. PP,

    Ouch!!!! That poor ram, I bet he's feeling a tad of relief after peeing on the Vet.
    I would be careful, this ram maybe waiting for the day to take out a little revenge on PP.

    It always problems happen in groups, now it's time for a turn around.

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    1. Sandy - Apparently the group wasn't done with me yet. :( Lots of bad news for today.

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  10. Oh wow PP. Emergency Vet on a Sunday, that has got to costs a bundle. Hope the cat is ok.

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    1. DFW - The cat hasn't moved from his bed in over 14 hours now. He is hurting but there is no swelling and no blood or marks on him and he purrs when I pet him. Not sure what he did but he made need a vet visit tomorrow now.

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  11. WOW! That Black comment was rude! How dare you judge a man's competence by the color of his skin! This will be posted and forwarded to as many people I know so they NEVER visit your site! But like you stated you "don't care" anyway! I hope your prepared for the fight that is coming your way!!

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    1. You sir are the reason for the "Long Slow decline"! Your racist comment was disgusting and appaling! Shame on everyone of you that didn't comment on it!!

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    2. OK anon trolls. Take your best shot. I stand by my comment and will add that no single group of people on this planet knows their tools like a White Male. As I said above 99% of ALL clerks know nothing but with the White guy I might get lucky and get some knowledge of the tools they are selling.

      If you think that isn't a valid statement around here you are welcome to come prove me wrong. Send me an email I will even give ya a place to stay why you try.

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  12. Such hypocrisy all of you show being a friend to such an obvious "racist" and not one of you commented on it!! Shame on you all! Your more concerned about the "poor ram" than you are about the Black comment! People have feelings..animals don't get their feelings hurt!! Shame on you all!! Especially Pioneer Preppy's "don't care" attitude! Its beyond words!

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    1. I somehow doubt much of any feigned outrage is beyond words to you and your type :)

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  13. Anonymous complaints deserve no respect from anyone and your "feelings" deserve no consideration. This is not Detroit or Ferguson nor Selma where political correctness has been practiced by Alinsky or Marcuse. If you don't like the blog start your own blog and say what you wish. Have a nice day.

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    1. Why does anonymous deserve no respect? Its not about feelings, its not about political correctness. It's about being respecful to other human beings..a quality you are obviously lacking!

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    2. You are not the internet sheriff...if you don't like the conversation it is better that you leave. An Indiana state legislator stated that white infants are "raciss" and I bet you won't condemn her lack of respect. Even as the "hands up don't shoot" fallacy collapsed I suspect you would not condemn the black and media distortion either. You are a SJW and I for one will never bend to your blathering. Either man up or women up and accept that or go away. Start your own blog and say what you will or wish.

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    3. I don't know what a "raciss" is or a SJW but why stereotype people by the color of their skin? That's what makes America great...as long as one works hard the color of their skin isn't supposed to matter. You and everyone like you who characterize people by the color of their skin or nationality think that everybody is beneath you or you wouldn't think that the white guy knows more. It's not about being an "internet sheriff" it's about the kindness we should be showing each other as human beings. I saw more compassion for the ram than the man who at least tried to help. I think it's funny your defending the blog when pioneer preppy hasn't even in replied, swooping in to defend the blogger..are your guns out? Who's the "internet"sheriff" now?

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    4. My guess is Emerald missed the 99% part of ALL clerks in my post. More than likely her eyes were bulging at the mere thought of someone perpetuating the White Male hero storyline. Bet she found it hard to type and read from the brain aneurism it was causing too since she couldn't figure out that extra S was suppose to be a T.

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  14. gezzuz pp...


    k wants animals- i used have SOME ammo against getting them - now i have TONS!!!

    and ignore the trolls.. your comment is more about culture than race, i would trust an asian in a hardware store even less..

    BUT ... NEVER buy a mixer or higher-end stereo equipment from a white guy ... in that dept it is blacks and latinos (for your vehicle) all the way...

    ditto - wanna smart phone or camera? - ask an asian what to buy, not some white kid addicted to facebook...

    etc. - different cultures have different skills.. Europeans make awesome cheeses, a good portion of the globe can't even digest them.. no brie in Japan.

    dude, you are seriously my hero -the energizer bunny of homesteading - i would send you some trout but the &^%)P%$^$$ river is still frozen solid ;-)

    cheers pal!

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    1. Jamby - You know the score my friend. You guys up there are not as hamstrung by constant PC police like we are. You can see them in action trying to go and shame all the other blogs int he hopes of causing me some issues in some small way. It's really quite comical and I hope I get a listing on the SPLC hate list now :)

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  15. When you go to the hardware store do you politely ask for a white salesman? Are you man enough to look a Black man in the eyes and tell him he's black and he doesn't know enough about what he's selling? Or are you a coward (and this is my bet) and act polite to their face, then talk about their lack of knowledge behind their backs? You and indyjonesoutthere deserve each other!

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    1. hey - whoever you are...do you not know that Pioneer Preppy loves idiot trolls like you? why don't you go find a blog that doesn't upset your moral fortitude or go make some friends elsewhere? no one invited you here and no one cares. move along.

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    2. hey there "anonymous"..

      nice stepping up to the plate there yourself ..

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    3. Up until today I was so encouraged by all your blogs and responses that I was really thankful for all I learned. Today all I can see is a blog roll of hypocrites that deserve each other. It is your racism, not culture that is the problem. Don't bother responding I won't waste my time coming back. I may be a troll, but you all are a special kind of hateful!

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    4. baloney about being encouraged by any of our blogs and all that crap! we are a group of people who have supported each other's learning skills and prepping for several years and you have not left a comment on any of our blogs - ever. so take your high and mighty whatever-it-is somewhere else. we are very supportive of each other on all of our connected blogs and we all learn from each other. libtards like you can please - just go away! (you say that you aren't coming back ....please...just go!)

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    5. How do you know anonymous hasn't commented? Anonymous is just that, anonymous. Prepping Racism is what this blog should be called!

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    6. I think it's the mohave mouse pretending to be all PC

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    7. Kymber - Thank you. The anon-trolls and Green paste will never understand.

      Matt - You maybe right but I haven't had any thing to do with him or his buddies in quite the long time. His "sister" has said some pretty racist things on her blog but hey I could see em brewing some resentment :)

      Anon #1 - If you had bothered to read what I wrote you would see that I actually gave the Black guy a chance. I made the effort to let him show me there is in fact a Black guy who knows something about tools while also saying 99% of ALL clerks don't.

      He failed. I stand by my opinion.

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  16. Preppy - I love most everything you try to do. That said, that was not the right comment. If we want to end a thing, we should rise above it, not feed it - and we must call a thing consistently what it is if we are to remain consistent about ending it, no matter what quarter it comes from.

    - TB

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    1. Don't expect much from pioneerpreppy he apparently, and I quote "doesn't care"

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    2. TB - I will actually give you a complete explanation because you are not a troll and I value your input. I have no idea your race, creed etc. although I think I asked your age once but if you read what I wrote I obviously did listen to the Black clerk and even took his advice. I am now batting 100% that no Black clerk has ever been able to answer even a simple question about tools. Same goes for the Female clerks as well and 99% of the White Male ones too. I said at least with the White guys you have a chance of finding someone who knows what he is talking about. The same could be said if I was looking for answers about street names in Detroit and said only 1% of the Black cabbies knew anything about them. Since it's 90% Black area I imagine my statistics would be spot on.

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  17. LOL! Way to go PP. You upset the trolls. Reminds me of the good old days at Bison Survival Blog. I swear Emerald reminds me of Wildflower.

    bigunsfan

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    1. bigusfan - OMG I miss Bison is he still around? His new link went dead on me sometime ago after he switched the second time. I had almost forgot about Wildflower. Boy did she hate me.

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    2. Dakin is still at it.

      www.bisonprepper.blogspot.com

      bigunsfan

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  18. Pp, I think you must have watched Blazing Saddles before you posted this! HA!

    All those that don't like his post can, in the words of Merle from The Walking Dead, Kiss our lily white asses.

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    1. Matt - LOL I should go back to town and get a shitload of dimes!!!

      Ya know the funny thing is had it been a Woman who told me those cutting wheels would work I would be hearing it from the Feminist today. Nah I think they gave up a long time ago.

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  19. Ahhh reminds me of the very expensive bull I bought that had a hair ring on his penis....I so feel for the male of any species! I think we do these things to keep it real! Does that make any sense? Life and Death and things going wrong make us see the world in an honest not through rose tinted glasses way!

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    1. Fiona - I get your point. In reality most of the Male critters wouldn't last their first year in the wild I suspect. So a Ram being taken care of and having seven ewes always there to breed with and no competition from the younger guys has lived a pretty good life.

      I have learned not to take it on faith that something will not change over the course of years though that's for sure.

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  20. PP - i am sorry that you had to put down the little ram....that sucks buddy!

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    1. Kymber - Thank you. As brutally honest and hard hearted as I try and act I have to admit putting the old boy down kinda gives me a twinge every so often. I kinda liked that old guy.

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    2. you have always demonstrated your kind-heartedness and care for all of the animals in your keep. even the donkey.

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